for the past two weeks ive been telling myself that I wont go that far, but somehow always end up too far. now after puking my guts out for hours im lying here in bed, i have no idea where my pants are or why my hip feels like its dislocated. no idea where my phone is, or what happened, all i remember is tears and a mistake. Its raining outside, I can see the tops of the mountains disappearing through the clouds from my bedroom window. nothing feels normal anymore, the strangers who i automatically think will treat me well. why would they? they only want one thing, and im lost. im withering away, but its ok because people are telling me that i look great. heavenly hill is not so heavenly, and love is a fucking joke.