September 2008
40 posts
Rosh Hashanah
Rosh Hashanah started yesterday. In the Jewish Faith its the day that you have a chance to start over. For the next 10 days God gives you this chance to repent and wipe your slate clean. You have to make an effort ofcourse, but how amazing is that? Its the day of a new beginning. I dont think that it could have come at a better time. I’ve already committed to a change, and for me to...
Whats in your head?
This weekend I saw my future? I saw something. I want it. But I cant choose. The decesion is completely mine. And I have never had to choose something like this in my whole life. I have time. A small amount, but I still have time.
Coming back to Concord was one of the worst feelings I have ever had. In the back of my head, all I can wonder is what is waiting for me back there?? The answer is...
Polynomers
The room is pleasantly illuminated by the smooth rays of sun that are coming out of the window. Occasionally the clouds send a cooling burst of air that penetrates the still warmth of the room. He’s sitting there, gazing out into the world through the open window. He’s concentrated on every aspect of the chunk of world he is seeing. He’s watching it like his life is being played...
Welcome to existence
Are my eyes half closed? Or is that they just might be waiting for something to open them? either way, I still feel in waiting. But honestly look deep deep down in your soul, have you ever felt like you werent continously just waiting on something? To happen, to begin, a person, a time. I feel like i will always be waiting.
I dont ever wanna feel like i did that day..
Sitting in New Testament. Listening to some Chilli Peppers. Learning about some ancient civilations that used to battle in the name of God. idk. I should go.
I came back. I was just sitting here thinking how amazing 311 is. They really are the best band to see live. And i mean i have seen a lot of bands, and genres, and i have never has as much fun as the 311 concerts that i have been to all the...
“We’ll have halloween on christmas, and in the night we’ll wish this...”
– blink182 travis barker :(
Serendipity
This time there was no name in a book. There was no name at all. There was no dinner and getting to know each other. There was moshing to the same music catching each other’s eye. There was no maybe your worth it.. There was a call me after the show. numbers lost. a new person lost in the crowd. For a person like me that has been wanting something new for so long, and something like this to...
open
Its human nature to be comfortable with how things used to be, and hope and pray that maybe you can get that you had back in your life again. Human nature is rarely right. But human nature is winning,
“We sat on the back porch and watched our souls meet at eye level. You asked me...”
donde eres?
I wouldnt be sitting here breathing if it was not for the love of my family. where you come from is the most important relationship that you will ever have. i think about my roots often. I think about what life was like when my great grandparents were living. I think about the south, and how glad I am that I was raised here. I could not imagine growing up north of that mason dixon line. Not that I...
“I’ll find a way to let you know
hold me close when tradewinds blow...”
– Pepper. These words wont leave my brain. so close to these lips.
What a beautiful day
Today was good. Not like “im doing pretty good” like the kind of good that has as much power as God meant when when he created the heavens and earth and said “and it was good”. :) The weather made me smiiiile. Thinking about the coming of fall and the amazzing nights that we’ve had in the past and amazing ones that we are going to create this fall. I love everything...
nostalgia
I remember when I was a little kid, and my parents were going through some rough times. Well really my whole entire family was. We were loosing the farm, and just trying to get by, Money was always something that I knew that we didnt have. I never really cared too much. They always found a way to make sure that me and my brother got everything that we wanted. Looking back, I see that they really...
“If I am a clock
Then your are the time
I’m patiently waiting
When...”
– RTTM
Here Comes The Sun.
Today started off so terrible. First period is such a headache for me. I think its who i sit around. No offense if you read this. I have a lot of friends and aquaintances in that class. But for some reason I have to sit all away in the corner furthest from anyone that I would actaully talk to. Mr. King has to think I am a psycho, I always say the wrong things to the guy. Like he’ll call on...
Dear Universe,
I would like to find someone who gets it. Someone who is just theirself and no one else. You know??? Just that person that finishes my thoughts, sentences, and my reason for smiling. I want to find someone that will sing to me, just because. Dear Universe would you like to send them to me now? I feel like eveyone has thiers, And I thought i’ve had mine so many times before that I’m...
bon voyage
Im sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea Ive got to be free, free to face the life thats ahead of me On board, Im the captain, so climb aboard Well search for tomorrow on every shore And Ill try oh lord Ill try to carry on I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory Some happy, some sad I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had We live happily forever, so the...
rain
is beautiful. I’ve watched the water fall for the past 4 hours. just taking every droplet in. Examining its curves. And the demensions its innards hold.
:)
i’m hoping that the decesion that i made today is going to take me to places that i’ve never imagined. i think it really will.
Smoking my Inspiration
Nicotine is evil. And I might very well be a giant hyprocrite. But i find that cigarrettes are so incredibly calming. And I dont like admitting it, but they have a tiny bit of power over me right now. oh well. it could be a phase. I hope its just a phase. It would probably help if i didnt have an endless supply.
But there is this one person. that has given me so much inspiration these past few...
oh
i guess that i take things too literal.
take me off the list of “you’s”
“Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when...”
– gd
“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our...”
– bob marley
Ive been dying to reach you
my soul that is floating around,
in a purple room.
With nothing for it to hold to.
Vulnerable to the evils.
Soaking up the emptiness that surrounds it.
My soul used to not be like this.
I had things figured out.
We could talk, and I could tell you what my beliefs were,
and I could tell you why i felt the way i did,
and I could tell you who my soul was attracted to.
Dear Soul, I’ve...
“I’m just looking for shelter
You’re just holding my hand if I hold...”
– good old war
Pg. # 237
you fooled me, you were so unbelivably good at it. I hung on every word like I was grasping for my final chance at life before i plummitted to the ground and my desperation crunched against the never ending swarm of flattery. I want to find faith in that world below. I never imagined myself being hurt like this. This negative thought would constantly linger in the back of my mind, but my heart...
this time i might need saving.
according to jesse i was someone’s hero today.
I wish someone would be mine. (hero that is)
school as got me soo incredibly bummed.
i just looked at the clock
9:11
my state of mind in august.
8/7/08
Mother Earth, Mother Nature. I see your creations and I could not fathom where you get your power. Your Creations that cause sensations that open up the mind.Your powerful landscapes pound into my soul. I drift through your seas. You drift through my soul. I forever feel connected with nature. This planet is ours. Your creatures are our allies. your creatures are the perfect examples of...
that was even a well written mask
i say what i want my ears to hear.
The truth is that i am weak.
weak from you. weak from life. weak from my abusive thoughts. weak from the weather. weak in the brain. drained.strained.blamed. i wish i was as strong as i think i am.
I cant pretend that i am not hurt. Because I am. By life. That it just wont give me the answers that i search through the dark with my flashlight for. That i ask...
“Heaven’s not a place that you go when you die.
It’s that moment in...”
– the spill canvas
remedy
I refuse to be disillusioned any longer. Thats what I feel like this whole thing has been. And I am going to have to be proven wrong. It is that simple. No more dancing around the truth. I am living for myself from now on. I was so caught up in everything. And I understand why people end up the way that they do. I have been so confused. But i think my remedy shall be that I am completely done....
“Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while...”
Last night I was sitting in a world of green grass. A rabbit appeared in the mist, they said it was a cheetah. It was a rabbit. Far from normal. It moved with a sense of freedom. It went where it wanted. It looked up at me. Its eyes looked at my soul, I felt it. I saw a lion. It morphed into its confidence. It owned that world of green grass. It was a lion. A magical lion. That was telling me that...
