February 2012
29 posts
God is so great.
I wish I could even begin to explain what has happened to me this week. All the signs. Its almost a miracle. Amen!!
if this keeps up, im going to end up hating all...
too late. seriously. people say that guys are pigs blah blah blah. I had pretty good luck so far in my life, the last one was so far from a prick that I just assume all guys are ok and genuine. Until the past month, I see what people mean. And for some of them to have the AUDACITY to be so blunt and rude. I just have lost all faith. But whatever, youre a prude if you dont and a slut if you do....
One of the most amazing things
Ive experienced something I have never felt before. Last night was a quiet one, just reading and doing art in my apartment. Decided to watch one of my favorite movies and try to get to sleep. The first time that I have even attempted sleep in the past month without a few drinks in me, or pills, or bowl packs. I was just trying to get some normalcy back in me, and Im going to visit home in a few...
the pieces from my journal that I post seem negative, but there are so many beautiful pieces about that beautiful man that I cant even bring myself to type out. atleast not now, but these are helping me realize the reasons, the reasons for anything to change. what is life without change? I think its called happiness…
Gone Written June 2011
That place was dark and scary and so far from you
The salty air made me more and more confused
Did me leaving kill our pace?
I wonder now, when I havent seen your face
A year we have been and I want to go more
I miss you so bad and I left that shore
For you? Did you even know I came back?
Where are you now?!
Time is what we lack.
I’ll run away, only if...
Written October 2011
To be left alone in the cold holding only a cigarette and the empty embrace where you used to be. I’ll always be watching the tail lights and my heart rush away under the moon. I look at that moon often alone, always I look alone and I wonder if God will ever let YOU see the bigger picture. I look at my face in the mirror how its rushed and flushed, streaked with...
1 tag
I cant even comprehend how the senses can be so heightened. How everything thing can feeel SOOOO good. Its been awhile since I got to feel that. I just want to push the limits, Ive always wanted to push the limits. I want to look back on this time in my life and know that I went as far as I could and did the most that I could and lived the most that I could while im here. So far, so good. I was...
I could
I could plead for you to not leave. I could plead and beg and pray that you’d still call me baby and not some new stranger. I could plead for you to be something you dont want to be anymore. I could beg you to finish up grad school in boone. I could beg you to keep trying, to not give up on us just yet. I could plead that you talk to me and tell me that you still love me, I know that you do....
you know you are meant for great things when you are scrapin resin and listening to Hank III alone at 1:30 am its cool though, i aint even ashamed.
reinvented
it takes a lot to bring a woman like me down. i never knew that until recently. I dare anyone to ever make me feel weak again. I dare any man to ever think for a second he has me. I cant be owned again; I wont. I have so much respect for a man that treats his woman like he cant live without her. I have been waiting on that feeling my whole entire life, and by god when it happens I know that all...
Im alive :)
I cant even explain
how much i love adele. gahhhhhhh. the grammys were presteigne. i listened to her when i was with him, and i felt and lived every one of her songs, and now its like the only thing that makes me feel better, well other than pot. she is so beautiful. and i love when people say i look like her makes my life :)
it was christmas night. and he said he didnt want to come see my new life. and i knew right then that i would never be first, and that we weren’t going to make it. i knew that anyone who could ever decide that he just didnt want to, didnt love me anymore. and i knew it. i teared up right in front of him and shakily tried to say, that him saying that really hurt my feelings, and he didnt say...
for the past two weeks ive been telling myself that I wont go that far, but somehow always end up too far. now after puking my guts out for hours im lying here in bed, i have no idea where my pants are or why my hip feels like its dislocated. no idea where my phone is, or what happened, all i remember is tears and a mistake. Its raining outside, I can see the tops of the mountains disappearing...
January 2012
1 post
pot is the only thing that keeps me from crying...
December 2011
15 posts
Fed Up.
Unpopular Opinion: Rick Perry isnt all that bad….
after taking this socio class,
i dont know if ill ever be ready for the marriage thing. I refuse to ever get divorced. people always eventually ruin each other….ugh..
I just packed
my first moving box. !! like 23 more days left in this piece of shit town… that i love when im away but i hate when im here. I can not wait to have my own place, a place where i can do whatever I want and not have to worry about anything. A place that my boyfriend can come stay with me and I can cook him meals and have staycations and our only worry will be if we are getting enough...
November 2011
52 posts
tomorrow is my birthday
and i know im going to end up crying, i always do. i hate birthdays, never what you expect even when you really dont even expect anything…
