I think I might have just found “the one” Lord have mercy on my heart this time….
Keep the world at bay
there is so much pain in this little heart of mine, i wish i could just belt it out in a song…..but nothing is ever loud enough
I cling to the eerie sound of the banjo and haunting screams from somewhere beyond. Somewhere beyond this place there are penetrating vocalization of the pain one’s heart feels from watching their loved one be ripped slowly away tendon by tendon. With each desolate drawn out blink of one’s eye the slow drone of panic thunders in with a rhythm. A constant pace of solitude, destitute, an unimaginable thirst for one more second of life no matter how hopeless. To feel the warm pulsing inside of her one more moment. To look at where you come from a know its dripping with love one more moment. To hear the banjo play a clang the tune of death. Slowly then rising. Laying on the battlefield, a field dyed red like the inside of the rabid fox strewn over a snowy field. The contrast of white and death is blinding. Louder the screams pounding your ear, with every swallow you wince in pain and with desire for other moments when you knew another one was possible. Faster the clanging of the musician takes his final bow and screams make you deaf.
I try to get into your head. I try to feel you out. I try to get your attention with a flash of my smile. It works. The first person to truly get me since I have began to get myself. Its not going to work, though. But I love you as a friend as a person as a neighbor as a fellow cosmic smile. Oh do I love you ! Maybe one day my soul will shine brighter than anything else in your life and you will make us, an us. Until then, to infinity and beyond !